Ashleigh’s Positive Hospital Birth Story

It's funny in a way because even when we were trying for her, I was already planning for an uphill battle due to my previous two children. But I was also planning my positive birth journey before it even started!

When my son was born, nearly 7 years ago(!) we were induced at over 41 weeks, and he was born at 41+2 weeks. I will admit, the fear over still birth got to me. The Doctor I spoke to at the hospital had no information for me, other than the risk increases and he can't make the decision for me. Having known one few people this risk applies to, I felt that I was being selfish delaying the birth when we knew the baby was happy and healthy, and we went on to have a very positive induction, with two pessarys. I didn't labour long (nearly 8 hours) and he was born but I missed out on so many things I wanted, because I didn't know how to advocate for myself, or even that I should be! I had two tears and I felt quite shocked to be a mother for a couple of weeks. He was born weighing 6lb6.

In 2020 we had our daughter, and I was on the back foot immediately. I had low papp-a and declined aspirin as it wasn't clear why I should be taking it. The induction talk started very early, where I was told I would be induced at 40 weeks. I decided it was better to take it one scan at a time, and whilst she was small, she was consistent, to the point that they stopped scanning me. Then towards the end of the  pregnancy we had some reduced movements and a scan revealed her growth had dropped. They wanted to induce me and she was born at 38+1 weeks, following an even fast induction (about 5/6 hours from waters being broken to birth) although she took longer to actually get to the labouring stage. She was born 6lb5 and about an hour later I experienced a severe PPH (Post-Partum Haemorrhage) 1800ml blood loss), a trip to theatre and a blood transfusion. Her birth was still lovely and positive but filled with things I didn't want like continuous monitoring and another land birth on my back. 

When we found we were pregnant earlier this year, I thought that the birth of my daughter would be biggest challenge but this time I was prepared, and planned to be even more prepared by purchasing your toolkit and using your support.

At my booking appointment I was advised that because my son had low gestational birth weight, they would be arranging growth scans, and putting me under consultant care. This is because he was "overdue" and "small" but for no reason they were aware of. 

I was advised that because with my daughter I had low papp-a they advised taking aspirin. 

I felt a bit deflated, knowing that even before any scans or tests had been done, they were already intervening. We decided to hold off on the aspirin as from what I could tell, it could make you more likely to haemorrhage a second time. 

At our 12 week scan, we also saw our consultant. He looked very out of place on the antenatal ward, but I can honestly say his level care was impeccable! He was very patient lead (at least as far as we were concerned) and incredibly laid back. 

At that appointment he advised when the growth scans would start, and that as long as baby tracked and I had no other complications (gestational diabetes etc) things would be very straightforward and he would be happy for me to just be left to it. Music to my ears!

I asked him the following questions -

1. Advice on having another PPH - he told me that my risk was still very low and gave it to me in qualitative terms without me asking for the figures (it was something like an increase from a 7% chance to a 15%chance and that out of 100 women who had previously experienced a PPH, 85 wouldn't experience it again) and he explained the procedure for the hospital to be monitoring me closely for signs of it happening. They would have my blood ready for a transfusion, and also give me medication to counteract it. He recommended a managed 3rd stage and I agreed with this as I had had difficulty with my placenta delivery both times before. 

2. Advice on aspirin - he advised that yes it would increase the risk of PPH and that the reduction of the affects of low papp-a would be super small if I did take it but that it was up to me. We decided against it as my biggest concern was the PPH.

Fast forward some time - with the toolkit by my side, and me doing all the positive planning and preparation I could - and we had our first growth scan. 

The appointment had been moved because of reduced movements, and when I got to the hospital they had made a mistake and also cancelled that days appointment. I managed to keep my calm and got an appointment through pregnancy assessment. They scanned me, and we saw our happy and healthy baby, and then heard the words "baby has a chunky tum!" Which shocked us both because we have never had a chunky baby. 

The baby was measuring on the 96th centile and at that moment was predicted a birth weight of over 9lbs. Quite a surprise.

I started to spiral! I knew a "big baby" came with induction pressures, and I wanted so badly to do this one my own. 

We spoke to the consultant and he recommended a repeat GTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) and scheduled me in for another scan. He stood by his initial assessment that so long as baby continued to track, he wasn't too concerned.

The GTT was negative, which I had thought it would be. At the next growth scan, baby had dropped a little and in "normal range" but still on the bigger side. Still no talk of induction, in fact my appointment with the consultant at that scan lasted about 3 minutes.

All the while at home I was journaling, writing out my positive birth visualisation, listening to the affirmations, packing a very thorough hospital bag and doing a very detailed birth plans (okay, I did three birth plans...!) and trying not to spiral about the size of the baby. I talked a lot about how my body wouldn't grow a baby I couldn't birth, and that my body was very capable. But comments from other people on my size really got me down. 

I went for my final growth scan in November (our Estimated due date was 1st December) and baby was tracking and had a predicted weight of 8lb2.

The consultant went through the following options -

He started by advising me on the risks of shoulder dystocia, but was very reassuring in that most instances the midwives are very experienced in getting the baby out before a Doctor can get there, and in some cases it would require an assisted delivery. He then said -

1. They could induce me sooner rather than later. He didn't think the baby would grow much in those last few weeks so he wasn't concerned by the weight as such. He said that it could be worth having a sweep (and even said some people consider this an intervention and part of the induction process, which surprised me as medically speaking it often doesn't get talked about this way) or at least a VE (vaginal examination) to see if my cervix was favourable because if it wasn't the induction probably wouldn't work. 

2. He said I could do nothing and just wait. 

3. He said they could bypass vaginal delivery altogether and go for a planned C-section, but that bigger babies can still get stuck by doing this.

We were very happy with how all of this was discussed. We felt quite positive that our baby would be here soon, and said that for now we were happy to wait and see what happened and if we decided we wanted a sweep or anything else, I would discuss it with the midwife at my next appointment. 

He was happy with that and said that the only other thing to consider was that at 41 weeks they would want to discuss the risks of still birth and induction for that reasons. 

So off we went. We continued going over our birth plan and I researched shoulder dystocia where I found out it's incredibly unpredictable and actually happens a lot with small babies! They can't prevent it because they can't predict it, so we decided it was better to do nothing because the risks of the interventions definitely outweighed the risks of the shoulders getting stuck.

At this point though, I started to have a wobble. Despite all of my knowledge, I got in my head about going into labour. We were doing everything right - oxytocin building, birth ball exercises, walks, eating dates, drinking raspberry leaf tea, and so on - but I couldn't stop thinking about labour starting and asking why my body hadn't gone into labour yet. I knew this wasn't helping at all. I had a word with myself and managed to calm myself down. But it would continue to come and go. I also had an added pressure of the more we went into December, the more of my older kids Christmassy school things we would miss. I kept reminding myself that this was beyond my control.

We had two midwife appointments in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy. One around 38 weeks and one around 39 weeks - it's here my dates are getting a bit lost off so it might have been a little later - and the induction talks started but we firmly stood by what we wanted.

At the first appointment, we said we would like to wait for now and when saw the midwife the following week we would request a scan to check in on the baby at 41 weeks. 

Still nothing happened that week, and that weekend we went to two children's birthday parties, and we at the start of the week we went to Durham Cathedral (which is quite a walk!) and kept going for walks locally, and doing all of the other things we had been doing for weeks.

We went to the midwife on Wednesday the 4th December, and the midwife advised that the head was really low, couldn't get much lower. She was quite surprised to see me. We requested a scan and she rang pregnancy assessment and had us booked in for the next day, and she advised that we didn't want to start the induction process. 

At home we chatted about if and when we would want to have an induction and I said I didn't want to go beyond 42 weeks, but I wasn't ready to start anything by any means. I was worried that by putting a date in, it would also put more pressure and be counter productive to my birthing system. 

We simply continued with everything we had been doing, but by this point I was sure that we would end up with an induction. I was trying to prepare myself for letting go of all of the things I had been hoping for. 

Then something very interesting happened.

At about 8pm I realised that what I thought were Braxton hicks were ending in an uncomfortable sensation. It wasn't intense or anything, but they were quite regular. I mentioned it to my husband but said that it was probably nothing. I went on my birth ball and played Hogwarts Legacy on my son's switch. By 9.30 I was starting to wonder if something actually might be happening but kept telling myself it probably wasn't - I forgot to mention that every 4/5 days I would get the odd niggle and as nothing had progressed from there, I'm assumed this would be the same!

I went to bed about half 10, and when I went to the loo I noticed some light pink blood. i listened to a calm birth rehearsal hypnobirthing track with my fairy lights on then tried to get some sleep. I continued to get those same sensations and after a couple of hours started to breath deeply through them. 

At around half 2 I realised that I was struggling to lie down and breathing through them wasn't quite cutting it. I got up onto my hands and knees, which woke my husband up. I told him things were getting more intense but said once I was moving, it probably slow down.

Thankfully he decided to time things, because my contractions were coming very thick and fast - about 2.5 minutes a part - so he started suggesting we ring the people we need to ring but again I thought there was no way we could be ready to go.

However we rang PAU (Pregnancy assessment unit) and they told us to come along. Things were definitely getting more intense. My mother in law arrived to look after the older two and off we set to the hospital. I was sure they would send me home, and I was starting to think if they did, I wouldn't be able to cope at home. Things were so intense. The contractions were coming really quick.

I was triaged at 5am, I accepted a VE and she said the water sack was bulging and I was 8cm dilated! I asked if the birth pool was available and she said someone was just getting in it but that person was having blood pressure issues, so she went to double check - sadly that lady had to leave to go to another room, but for me that meant the pool was ready and waiting.

I opted to walk to the room even though it was difficult because I knew the movement would help me. 

We got to the room and they started bustling about getting me ready, they asked to put a cannula in my hand as a precaution which I consented to but they were very keen to get me in the pool. So in I got and once I was in I didn't notice that they were putting the cannula in. 

At this point things really stepped up, and I felt very much like I couldn't go on. The strong sensations of my body bearing down were unbelievable. My mother was to be my second birth partner and she wasn't there yet. I was making extremely loud noises, I was on my hands and knees and this was happening.

I suddenly remembered that gas and air exists, and asked for some. It didn't offer a great amount of relief but it helped steady my breathing. I was also using a birth comb.

The downward motion was taking over, and I felt the "ring of fire" starting. I tried so hard to steady myself and breath slowly, letting my body do the work but I was eager to get her out that it was more like I was roaring into the gas and air. My Mam walked into the room, and was there by the skin of her teeth!

I vaguely remember the midwife asking if she could listen in to baby and popping a Doppler on my tummy, but not asking me to move out of the pool. This had been a concern for me. My waters then broke.

They got a mirror so they could check what was happening and told me to ready my hands to catch her. 

I put my hand down and could feel her crowning - I could feel loads of fluffy hair in the water! It was incredible being able to feel her head coming out.

It felt like it took a really long time for anymore of her to come out, her head moved a little more and I started to worry I couldn't birth in the pool because she was actually going to get stuck. 

The midwives and my husband kept encouraging me, and I tried to repeat to myself that I was in fact doing it, it wasn't a case that I couldn't but I was! 

Then all of a sudden she came out, and they were telling me to lean forward so I didn't sit back on her, and scoop her up. Up she came and I looked at her and told them "it's a girl!"

And then I said I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that had happened that way. It was so fast. 

I sat in the pool for a little bit but as they were concerned about possible PPH, they encouraged me to get out. By the time I was out and on the bed, the chord had stopped pulsing and gone white. 

I was examined, and had a small 2nd degree tear. I then had an hour's skin to skin before they stitched me up and then took her for her checks. We were completely amazed to find out she was 8lb10!!! 

She has been my biggest baby, quickest labour and smallest injury. 

My labour is recorded as 54 minutes with a pushing stage of 4 minutes. 

I had so many plans for my birth that didn't go ahead - I didn't labour for as long as I thought I did so I didn't use half of my birth space options. I didn't use my transfer kit because I was so far at that point I couldn't focus on anything else. I didn't get my playlist on, my affirmations up or my oxytocin photos up. They did turn the lights out and had their own nice low lights, but we didn't get our fairy lights out. None of it!

But.... I birthed in the pool. I did most of the work at home without even knowing I was doing it. My body went into labour on its own. I didn't have a PPH or any other complications. I was home the next day (for the first ever time, I have always stayed for a few days). It wasn't the peaceful, serene experience I had in my head, it was intense and fast, and the sensations were overwhelming but I also feel so proud of myself for the choices I made and for trusting my body. I actually experienced everything I wanted to from my labour. 

My highlight was feeling her head crowning with my own hand! 

I am delighted with the level of support I received from everyone involved. I am so thankful to you Ellie, your support reinforced my own knowledge and made me feel confident in my decisions! 

We are absolutely delighted. 

Thank you so much.

Ashleigh 

Ashleigh used The Hypnobirthing Tool Kit to prepare for her birth. If you’d like to start getting prepared for your positive birth experience, hit the link below to get started…